What has happened to my trippy, pseudo-sockhopper, jailbait Audrey?! It's absolutely horrifying to see how bland and boring they've made her. And I truly believe one can get a sense of how watered down she is by doing a quick visual compare/contrast.
I highly suggest even you non-Peakers click on this because there is some bigtime pretty behind the cut. Not dial-up friendly.
( Excuse me, is there something wrong, young pretty girl? )
- Mood:
discontent
*phone rings*
It's my mom.
Mom: So, did you hear?
Me: What happened?
Mom: Jon and Kate are getting divorced!
OMG, what is happening here. My mother has NEVER watched the show before. She was asking like a month ago who that woman with the peacock hair on the cover of US Weekly was. I cannot believe how big this thing has gotten.
My own take on the sitch is pretty much, "Yeah, it's for the best." As someone who shamefully gets caught up in all those damn Duggar specials, I can say that Jon & Kate was too much for me even back when I tried an episode two years ago. It was so clear to me that these two needed to be divorced. I mean, not to make light of the destruction of a marriage, but damn, they were so clearly miserable with each other even back then. And that was them on camera, probably modifying their behavior. Yikes.
Anyway, I'll shamefully admit that I've mainlined a ton of eps over the last couple of months, just to see the trainwreck. And mostly my opinions didn't change. I have no team. I think Jon is a defeatist whiner and loser and Kate is an asshole and wannabe martyr. Really, I have to hate her just for that hair. And yet, the show really IS strangely addictive. Those kids are so damn cute. I even love Mady and all her drama queening.
- Mood:
okay
Also? I'm unmoved by the whole, "But at least on Buffy it was portrayed as unhealthy!" Come on...as if B/A wasn't portrayed as every bit of the True Love Forever that Edward/Bella is. I'd give points for them at least acknowledging that they couldn't stay together, but let's face it, that door was never shut completely. And even Spuffy, which pretty much no one could ever claim wasn't portrayed in all of its messy, disastrous glory, was eventually allowed to become something positive and transformative. Obviously, I'm biased on this point, and I find the slow development of that relationship more honest, but I can still see an argument to be made that that relationship was allowed to be whitewashed into something healthy.
Of course, the main reason for this post is just that I got sick of seeing Angel get a pass on the "stalker" front. "Angelus and Spike stalked her, Angel didn't." OH REALLY. Even leaving aside the Angel=Angelus issue, I believe people are forgetting a little something called Becoming I or, say, THE ACTUAL CLIP IN THE VIDEO OF BUFFY CALLING ANGEL A STALKER?
But let's put it to the test.
Poll #1418962
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Bigger stalker...
View Answers
Spike
3 (5.3%)
Angel 27 (47.4%)
Angelus, because I am stubborn and insist he's a different being *g* 2 (3.5%)
Edward Cullen 25 (43.9%)
- Mood:
indifferent
I like Grease 2 more than Grease.
In order to make my case, I present the following poll, which is not selective or skewed in any way as to make Grease 2 look more awesome. And neither is the following gif here solely to sway anyone. Also, this entry isn't just a thinly veiled excuse to post said gif.
( So move aside, cause I'm gonna ride... )
Poll #1410393
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
More gorgeous, kickass female lead...
Better Unburdening of the Heroine's Soul...
Inspired by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
blixie, would you do it for your country?
Most shameful object of lust...
View Answers
Danny Zuko 2 (9.5%)
Kenickie 8 (38.1%)
Michael Carrington 6 (28.6%)
Louis DiMucci 5 (23.8%)
- Mood:
silly
( Cut for those who want to be spared the sweet, sweet negativity )
- Mood:
mischievous
1. Buffy/Spike
2. Joey/Pacey
3. Mulder/Scully
Soooo...yeah, that's as far as I could go.
Obviously, no one needs to point out what this says about me. Because what it pretty clearly says is that I am permanently stuck in the year 2000. I mean sure, I could throw in some other couples I find interesting or maybe COULD ship eventually, but they don't really deserve a slot up there with the Big Three, you know? And besides, inevitably something will happen that will annoy me, I'll get pissed off, delete all my related LJ icons, and I'll probably stop watching the show.
1. Jim/Pam (The Office)
2. Jack/Juliet (Lost)
3. Michael/Sara (Prison Break)
Then we have those couples that I can't deny I shipped, but well, it was a looooong time ago. And could conceivably be embarassing...if I had shame. (And no, Pacey/Joey DO NOT count as one of the youthful shipping embarrassments.)
1. Becca/Jesse (Life Goes On)
2. Felicity/Gus (Road to Avonlea)
3. Angela/Jordan (My So-Called Life)
Which leaves me with my following list of "not a chance in hell" couples.
1. Penny/Sheldon (The Big Bang Theory)
2. Liz/Grizz (30 Rock)
What? Like you don't see it too.
- Mood:
thirsty
Plus? This is one Buffy wank that might actually be fun! EVERYONE is being equally screwed! Spuffy and Bangel shippers unite! Core Four and Fanged Four fans, together as one! I can't wait until the online petitions start.
- Mood: indifferent
My newest addiction is audiobooks. They totally help me to work out, seriously! But really, I need the fluffiest, trashiest crap ever to keep me properly distracted, so I've been revisiting the Janet Evanovich world. Once upon a time I read up to, I think, book eight? Maybe book seven? I honestly can't remember, so in listening, I decided to just start back at the beginning. However, since I sort of half know stuff that happens later, I've been sort of looking for spoilers. I KNOW. I am not only spoiling myself for something I can read myself, but for something I HAVE read before. Anyhow, in this quest, I stumbled onto fanfic. And even in book fanfic, books which I really thought were aimed solidly at the over-30 demographic, the same fandom cliches fly. It's wonderfully horrible!
Now in the great Morelli vs. Ranger battle, I'm mostly neutral. I really like both. I lean slightly towards Morelli, just because I find Ranger and Stephanie completely incompatible. I can't actually picture them like, talking, you know? But really, I don't think I'm a hugely biased person here, but OMG, I stumble right into a fic with Ranger bitching Stephanie out for jerking him around and always relying on him, and how she always needs his help but then refuses to sleep with him, and gosh, duh, Stephanie...everyone knows you can't like expect to work with someone and not put out. Selfish bitch, actually dating someone else instead of paying Ranger back for lending you cars and ammo and stuff. Oh, and of course, the fics all paint Joe as a controlling asshole who wants to dictate how Stephanie should live her life...all before she hooks up with Ranger and he does exactly the same thing, but you know, in his case, he's just being protective. I think I find all of this to be an especially interesting take in that I have hazy memories of Ranger basically shutting down the idea of them ever having a relationship...although maybe this changes after I stopped reading? THIS IS WHY I NEED SPOILERS. Anyway, it's just interesting diving into this world where I really have no preference and seeing all the same shipper battlelines. Although, I'm shocked by how Ranger/Steph fic seems to dwarf Joe/Steph fic. Again, does something drastic happen in the later books?
Um, long story short. Stephanie Plum books? Still super fun and silly. Stephanie Plum fanfic? Angsty, depressing, and humorless. Shocking, huh?
And I realize maybe three people on my flist will be able to follow this entry. *g*
- Mood:
contemplative
Sometimes I think I forget their fabulousness, and then there it is. *sniff*
Source
- Mood:
bouncy
Moving on to my current sad obsession, I swung back over to the Casteel side of the fence and finished up the entire series this weekend. And aw man, Leigh Van Voreen is seriously like the saddest little heroine in all of V.C. land. Raped and pregnant at 13, dead at 14, and her only brush with true love being with a hillbilly drunk who manages to go like 4 months before he cheats on her and knocks up another girl. That totally earns her the right to be my official VCA icon.
In my reawakened obsession, I stumbled across these V.C. Andrews tutorials, which I believe are a useful tool, both for those of us who have already dived into the madness and for those of you who find yourself thinking, "The incest and purple prose all sound good, but where to start?"
Part 1 - The Pattern
Part 2 - The Females
Part 3 - The Males
A quick sample...
Typically, VCA heroines find themselves in situations where they discover they belong to whole new families. Their new brothers (or brother figures), who they’ve probably dated at some point back in the day, are going to remain totally in love with them forever –or at least until someone kicks the bucket. Before the heroine came along, he was a normal, well adjusted guy. He’s going to end up a whiny bitch, totally nuts, driven crazy by his love for his sister.
And everyone should totally take the quiz below, just for the perfection of questions like...
What's your mother like?
A. She's a cold, murdering bitch
B. She's saintly and poor
C. She's saintly and rich
D. She's pretty vain and selfish, but also kind of nuts, so I mostly just pity her
E. She's so vain and selfish that she doesn't want anyone to know she's old enough to have had me!
And I totally did not choose all my answers in order to make sure I ended up with Troy.
| ||||||||
 - Mood:
awake
Poll #1397230
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
In what S3 episode does Spike appear?
- Mood:
determined
Taking a break from the Casteels (the Troy/Heaven is too devastating, y'all!) and jumping into Flowers in the Attic is reminding me that I actually do kind of get into Chris/Cathy in this book. I'm over it by Petals in the Wind, but initially, yeah, the doom, the brokenness, the protectiveness, the way the vibe evolves from bratty siblingness to disaffected, bitter pseudo-parents...well, yeah, it's worthy of an Incest Yay! cover or two.
So, I bring you my V.C. Andrews poll, focused solely on the Audrina/Dollanganger/Casteel sagas, because they are the only ones that count.
Poll #1394630
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
More fucked up...
View Answers
Christopher Dollanganger's mommy issues 4 (28.6%)
Christopher Dollanganger's sister issues 10 (71.4%)
Worse mother...
View Answers
the one who locks you in an attic so she can be rich and fancy-free 10 (76.9%)
the one who scoffs at the idea that your stepfather would ever find you hot enough to rape 3 (23.1%)
Worse father...
View Answers
the one who sells you for $500 2 (15.4%)
the one who whips you for sleeping with your half-uncle and has it written into his will that you're disinherited if you ever have children 3 (23.1%)
the one who refuses to let you marry Troy Tatterton, rapes your 14-year old mother, and later tries to rape you 8 (61.5%)
Troy Tatterton...
View Answers
OMG, he is tortured and beautiful and brilliant and he didn't KNOW he was my uncle so we can get past it! 9 (75.0%)
Drama queen! 3 (25.0%)
Lamest love interest...
View Answers
Logan Stonewall, the guy who dumps you for not being a virgin, finds you less attractive when you no longer need him to help keep you from poverty, and impregnates your not!sister whom he spent all of your childhood calling a cheap skank 7 (63.6%)
Arden Lowe, the guy who knows you're really your own sainted dead older sister, who stood by while you were gang raped as a kid, decides not to tell you any of this, and then impregnates your half-sister 4 (36.4%)
Best Skanky Relation...
Odds of Chris and Cathy going THERE even without the attic thing...
View Answers
100%. Oh, it was so going to happen no matter what. 1 (7.1%)
75%. Chris would've wanted it, Cathy wouldn't. 7 (50.0%)
50%. Chris would've been too busy lusting after his mother to worry about Cathy. 5 (35.7%)
0%. Never! They were perfectly normal kids who just happened to consider each other physical perfection! 1 (7.1%)
Creepiest...
View Answers
sleeping with your brother out of obligation 11 (78.6%)
sleeping with your legal guardian out of misplaced affection 2 (14.3%)
sleeping with your stepfather for revenge 1 (7.1%)
Did you understand all of these questions?
View Answers
Every single one! *is proud* 6 (35.3%)
Not a single one! *is proud* 4 (23.5%)
Way, way too many of them for my own good. 7 (41.2%)
- Mood:
thoughtful
You guys...he is just so melancholy and beautiful and his thick, dark hair with tinges of bronze arranges itself into messy waves that he disturbs by running his fingers through it to express his deep gloom and desolation! *swoons*
I had to stop listening because I know Heaven's about to find out he's actually her uncle and then she'll be saddled with lameass Logan, who so totally doesn't really love her, but only enjoyed being the savior of a pitiful little poor girl. And somehow I'm supposed to deal with him having sex with Heaven's evil sister Fanny and consider that somehow equal to Heaven sleeping with Troy. Please! Everyone knows there is a WORLD of difference between slutty sister infidelity and sleeping with your one true love who you thought was dead and who you only had to break your engagement with in the first place because you found out that his brother raped your mother! The situations are not comparable in the least!
I am already extremely resentful of Gates of Paradise for dedicating a whole book to Heaven's lame daughter as opposed to giving me more Heaven/Troy doom. We got 4 books of Chris/Cathy lameness in the Flowers in the Attic series, but only a book and a half of Heaven/Troy? FAIL.
I am looking forward to Web of Dreams though, just for 20-year old hottie pre-rapist Tony Tatterton.
- Mood:
enthralled
Buffy's 10-year high school reunion is THIS YEAR.
Sunnydale High Class of 1999 10-Year Reunion!
Poll #1393077
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Most likely reunion one-night stand...
View Answers
Willow Rosenberg/Percy West 20 (41.7%)
Buffy Summers/Owen Thurman 5 (10.4%)
Xander Harris/Scott Hope 2 (4.2%)
Willow Rosenberg/Oz Osbourne 15 (31.2%)
Buffy Summers/Devon MacLeish 1 (2.1%)
Xander Harris/Amy Madison 4 (8.3%)
Someone else! 1 (2.1%)
Most awkward "Has anyone seen so-and-so?" moment
View Answers
"Last I heard she was in a coma. Which at least explains the shitty dye-job she had going." 4 (8.3%)
"She hasn't aged a day since graduation. No. REALLY hasn't aged a day." 11 (22.9%)
"Not sure where he is now, but I think he hooked up with Tucker's brother for awhile there." 6 (12.5%)
"She disappears halfway through senior year, and then shows up at the Bronze with Rosenburg years later, acting like a total hobag." 8 (16.7%)
"They must have finally wised up and fired him. No librarian should be spending that much time with teenagers. Weirdo." 19 (39.6%)
Most likely to ruin the party...
View Answers
devil dogs 3 (6.2%)
flying demon monkeys 8 (16.7%)
band candy 3 (6.2%)
Buffy punching Scott Hope for spreading rumors about her 34 (70.8%)
Most likely no-show...
Most likely to deliver the "High school sucked and so did all of you!" rant...
- Mood:
cheerful
I kind of desperately want to find
canadia_bit's old "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You" icon.- Mood:
nauseated
( The Zeppo through Earshot )
- Mood:
restless
NO CHEATING.
Poll #1388357
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Check off the actual BtVS S3 titles...
View Answers
Resolutions 4 (5.3%)
Enemies 70 (93.3%)
Judgements 1 (1.3%)
Decisions 2 (2.7%)
Conclusions 0 (0.0%)
Declarations 1 (1.3%)
Amends 74 (98.7%)
Choices 55 (73.3%)
Adversaries 1 (1.3%)
Consequences 53 (70.7%)
Realizations 1 (1.3%)
Solutions 0 (0.0%)
Revelations 53 (70.7%)
Convictions 3 (4.0%)
- Mood:
dorky
( Caution all ye who enter. Here be crazy girl bitching. )
- Mood:
grumpy
Poll #1386891
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Pick sides!
View Answers
Spike/Angel vs. Xander 13 (21.3%)
Spike/Xander vs. Angel 19 (31.1%)
Angel/Xander vs. Spike 2 (3.3%)
There are no sides with these three drama queens. Free for all bitchfest! 27 (44.3%)
- Mood:
tired
